75. Last Tango

Your Lovejoy raconteurs and bon vivants* are back for the final time with an extra, extra long episode seeing as it's THE VERY LAST ONE!

Pol geeks out in extremis as we analyse Tinker's Dream, wonder just how many archaelogical digs one man can raid and enjoy the East Anglian Antique Dealers Association Annual Dance.

* After all, who amongst us has never told their alka seltzer to shut up?

The original Lovejoy episode was written by those Titans of British Televison, Mr. Ian La Frenais and Mr. Dick Clement and directed by our beloved Baz Taylor.

Antiques of the Week: Ruskin's letters, a mosaic floor and Tink's dressing gown.

Cocktail of the Week: Adios MelonFarmer

ps you could die of nostalgia, back in the day...

** SUPPORT ROYAL TRINITY HOSPICE BY SPONSORING OUR RUN! **

74. Minty Tequila (Holding the Baby)

In this (very literal) episode we learn about the Cato Street Conspiracy - no thanks to UKTV Play - and enjoy, or not, an old school Lovejoy epsiode replete with tax people and an antique that just happens to be worth the exact amount of money he's short of.

Em tells a traumatic pram story, Dr. Helen tells us about hypnotherapy and we conclude Cricklewood is real as we watch Charlotte getting to grips with "having it all."

Question for listeners - what IS Tinker's tattoo? Answers on a postcard, or call 081 8111 etc etc...

You can find out more about the Cato Street Conspiracy here and give us a quid or two for our charity run round London's Royal Parks here.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Paul Alexander and directed by Baz Taylor.

Antique of the Week: Libraries :/

Cocktail of the Week: Tequila Mockingbird

73. Live, Laugh, LOVEJOY (Fruit of the Desert)

What better advice do you need? We enjoy watching a thoroughly naked (according to Em) Lovejoy getting hit by a massive mop this episode, as we also learn the difference between Tat and Valuable, remember Mr. Motivator and get thoroughly distracted by a packet of crisps.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by none other than the man himself Mr. Terry Hodgkinson and directed by Paul Harrison.

Antiques of the Week: Two very important pieces of modern art, and a nice vase.
Cocktail of the Week: A Vodka Sour - because it has Russian vodka in it, and an egg (tho Helen won’t get the reference…)

** we’re all running a half marathon in October for Trinity Hospice - please consider sponsoring us! Every little helps **

72. Willies Galore! (Beating the Broker)

Join us again as we enjoy some interesting sartorial choices and a blossoming bromance this week. There's smut aplenty as the Suffolk PD come up with a rather convuluted plan to recruit an antiques expert in their battle against a cur-ved sea captain.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Douglas Watkinson and directed by Alex Kirby.

Antique of the Week: Cadbury's Roses, circa 1994.

71. Never mind the... | Last of the Uzkoks

Everyone wants Lovejoy to tell them who owns a godly bread bin - from the Greek Orthodox Church in London to the Dutch Land Reclamation Society - and they'll all pay him for the privilege.

Come and have a listen as we enjoy a pangolin distraction, hear about the Dunwich Dynamo and meet a generic loon who just adores "Tinky" !

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Steve Coombes and Dave Robinson. It was directed by Ian McShane.

The UK Treasure Trove rules are here and you can learn more about Gruel Thursday at the Everyday Lore Project.

** Don't forget we're still supporting Royal Trinity Hospice! **

70. Bit of a Bonk (Guns n Roses)

Pol’s run out of white wine (catastrophe) on what is very much not a red wine evening - as you might be able to tell by the audio quality(!) But we still get to learn the etymology of “ponce”, that Helen hates shampoo and why you should always buy an off peak return in this episode as we’re delighted to see Lovejoy in a place very dear to our hearts - London’s Soho. Although he doesn’t go to Trisha’s.

Antique of the Week: Fluffy pink crop tops and ringing up to hear the news on the telephone
Cocktail of the Week: the suprisingly straightforward Gunfire

The original Lovejoy episode was written by John Milne and directed by Ian White.

** You can sponsor our Half Marathon on our Justgiving page here! **

69. Chekhov’s Trouser Press (Double Edged Sword)

An extra long episode with extra voices as we’re joined by the Midsomer Maniacs themselves!! We have an absolute blast discussing this episode where Jim Leonard returns, and he’s in MEGA TROUBLE. Listen in as we discover that there are no blackcurrants in North America, that Charlotte is living in the future and exactly where the Stretford End is.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Roger Marshall and directed by Alex Kirby.

Antique of the Week: The slightly creepy rocking horse (pre-Jim’s ass.)

Cocktail of the Week: A Bloody Samurai

Many thanks to our guests Mark and Sarah from the Midsomer Maniacs podcast. Find them online @midsomermaniacs on Twitter and Instagram, or on the Midsomer subreddit! Lovejoy writers Jeremy Paul, Douglas Watkinson and of course the inimitable Terry Hodgkinson have all written for Midsomer Murders - check out which episodes and give them a go!

68. MEN (Somewhere, Over The Rainbow)

Lovejoy and his band of scallywags (what?) are back and we have a bit of a stare into the abyss listener, but don't worry, it's not very deep. Plenty of potential for peril this episode though as we see a sad AND forlorn AND melancholy Tink having a mope in a pub, a caravan and on a bridge - before he disappears!

So join us to learn what naughty thing Polly did with her phonecard, where the best place is to offload nicked jewellery, and what happens when you're the kind of chap to Keep Calm and Carry On, and you can't...

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Jeremy Paul and directed by Ian White.
Antique of the Week: Charlotte's jewellery, a phone card, and Wallis Simpson's rock crystal bracelet
Polly's Cocktail Recommendation: Over The Rainbow

❤ Don’t forget, wherever you are in the world, you can search online for local mental health support should you need it. If you're in the UK and you feel rotten, please tell your GP - they can help you out. You can also always contact the Samaritans for free on 116 123 on or by emailing jo@samaritans.org, get help from the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) and - if you identify as a chap and you're in the UK - why not take a look if there's an Andy's Man Club available near you ❤

67. Chesspert (Day of Reckoning)

Sustained peril this episode as we sit through approximately 22 hours of reckoning... Charlotte's in trouble (again) but not to worry, Lovejoy - and not the police, what are you thinking - is on the case!

Join us as we discuss the difference between a sacristy and a vestry, enjoy some omnious music and learn that everyone is taller than Helen.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by John Goldsmith and directed by Paul Harrison.

Antiques of the Week: A Queen Anne coffeepot and a chess set with more atoms than the universe.

EM’S “FUN” FACTS

• Almost one in three women aged 16-59 will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime

• In the year ending March 2018, nine times more women than men were killed by their partner or ex-partner

• Two women a week are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales alone

• Nearly a quarter of women (almost 1 in 4!) have experienced sexual assault or attempted sexual assault since the age of 16

66. Tonsil Tennis (Fair Exchange)

Lovejoy - it's like a mullet sandwich made of two lacks of mullet with a mullet filling... anyway, here we are with the first episode of Series 6!

Mature Themes this week with some first class twattery from Charlotte's horrid love interest (Gordon Fitzalan / and Alan fits Gordon) and the question of whether Miss Bianca from the rescuers really did bonk Lovejoy on the downlow. And who is really going to want "a massive f*!@ing gong that won't fit anywhere" ?

Antique of the Week: Em requests a cartier watch please. Pol will have a gong she won't be able to get up the stairs.

The original Lovejoy episode was directed by Richard Laxton and written by... Eric Deacon!! (Derek! DENNIS.)

65. A Long Way From Lavenham

Live free or DIE!!

Come with us (and Lovejoy) to the good ol’ US of A replete with diners, cheerleaders, divebars. ‘gators and … interesting numberplates as we have a ball discussing the second part of Series 5 Xmas - contentious - special.

The original Lovejoy episode was directed by Geoffrey Sax and written by - of course - Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais.

64. A Lot of Raff (The Lost Colony - Part One)

It’s finally here! Polly’s all time for sure 100% favourite ever episode of Lovejoy!

This is part one as we talked for so long about the feature length series 5 finale/Christmas special (who knows? we don’t…) Part two will be with you next week.

We’ve finally done a vague amount of research so please enjoy more geography knowledge, Em’s Fortean musings, and a not insignificant amount of raff in this truly international extravaganza.

The original Lovejoy episode was directed by Geoffrey Sax and written by - who else - Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais.

63. The Price Of Fish

Jolly hockey sticks with Chas and the gang at her school reunion - poor Lovejoy! An unashamedly romantic episode this week, where Lovejoy possibly gets wine on his shirt (again.)

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Andy de la Tour and directed by Jim Hill.

Antique of the Week: a rather depressed looking taxidermy rabbit.

62. May the Peace of Gimbert be upon you (Never Judge A Book)

An extra long episode because quite frankly we were too excited by RICHARD BRIARS to keep it concise.

Fond memories of fudge, a nice easy switcheroo and an incredibly strong cocktail all feature this week as we meet Faith, Hope and Raymond...

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Colin Shindler and directed by Jim Hill.

Antique of the Week: a ship's decanter, VHS tapes (and their boxes) and an Arcadian pottery cottage.

61. Famous in Grimsby (Swings & Roundabouts)

It's our very own version of a mysterious Terry episode as we refuse to resolve the Mumsnet Boswell riddle

. Pol has fond memories of the Ribblesdale Swimming Baths Car and Em struggles over the word quacksilver, as we enjoy an episode featuring Phil Daniels (though not quite enough for Helen's taste...)

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Gawn Grainger wrote and directed by Ken Horn.

60. Goose Bumps

Another lockdown episode in which we ferries, dentists and of course THE PUB... all of which feature heavily in this week, along with the wonderful Mr. Pete Postlethwaite, much to our delight!

Tune in for RL Stine chat, Goose Nutters and to hear Helen write a Haiku.

Antique of the Week: Head Sports Bag, Point Horror novels and 90s flyers

The original Lovejoy episode was written by Jeremy Paul and directed by Gordon Flemyng.

59. Peking Gun

Bert Kwouk's back and so is the peril (and Lovejoy's dressing gown....) in an episode featuring an aging party animal, a Chinese yuppie and a shady organisation - like the WI but for crime syndicates...

Come over to @lovejoyapod and tell us your Chinese zodiac!

Antique of the Week - the Africa collection (which bit of Africa? Who knows!)

The original Lovejoy epsiode was written by Mike Ripley and directed by Ken Horn.

58. Bonus Ep! Interview with Andy Rowley

A little present for Twixtmas! Here's our previously published Patreon interview with Andy Rowley, Bafta award winning production manager, who worked on Lovejoy in the 90s.

You can join us on Patreon for early access to episodes as well as blooper reels, Q&As and other behind the scenes stuff.

57. Rembrandt - Never Used (Poetic License)

Disbelief positively floats this episode as Lovejoy encounters more peril, this time because - guess why - that’s right, a friend of Charlotte’s needs helping out of a sticky financial situation. Psychological thriller with the loveable rogue, where we discuss the postwar Camden bohemia, Helen’s love of a bureau and the well known 1993 art deco antiques drought of London.

The original Lovejoy episode was written by TR Bowen and directed by Gordon Flemyng (no relation.)

Antique(s) of the Week: Poems, baggy t-shirts and - need we add - a bureau. She loves a bureau.

56. Pimp My Sideboard (Stones of Destiny)

Who cares about Charlie’s sideboard? NOT US! Or our special guest, Mr. Arwel Richards, who joins us for some asides all the way from Magic Wales. We meet some baddie historians, fake druids and “revenge preacher guy” in this week’s episode where we also enjoy some very 90s hair, a really big house and learn that Helen loves a cave.

The original was written by Alan Clews and directed by Jim Hill (not that one.)

Antique of the Week: Celtic Apostle Crosses - Helen bags the biggest one.